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December 2008

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leaders

彼女は常識をくつがえす


the only public entry you see is this one.

if that doesn't tell you anything, it means this journal is friends only


This LJ is 3 years old. I can safely say this journal has been through a lot of changes. It went from being a friends only journal, to a semi-friends only one and back to a friends only journal. Hell, this LJ has even been through a name change. I've had several other blogs in the past and along the way but this one is the longest I've kept. And through this LJ I've made a lot of friends, so I'm gonna be hanging around for a long while.

I admit, I meet a lot of people through a lot of different fandoms. But let's face it -- everyone's bound to fall out of any fandom. As we grow older, we discover life. Don't take it as a bad thing. Instead, embrace it. At least it doesn't make you seem like a lifeless internet dweller like I used to be XD But actually I'm still KIND OF an internet dweller still lol. Just not as much as before, seeing as though I actually have a life.

I used to spazz and fangirl on this LJ. But for some reason, somewhere, it started getting serious and life-related. I got ranty, bitchy and whiny at how horribly hard life is when I know there are people who have it worst. But I guess this is just my way of letting off steam. And I've decided something -- I like talking about life. I love talking about my photography, my future, my life, school, friends, the things and people I love, that sort of thing. In the end, I'm just a regular girl.

I don't know if people still know me from my past entries in various communities. If you plan to add me because you see my name around communities, just don't. If you add me because you've read my fics, don't. But if you plan to add me with the intention of getting to know me better as a person and actually be friends, by all means, please do. Despite having this journal friends only, I'm actually an open girl.

It helps if we have common interests :D I'm no one special. I'm just an average girl with an average life. I don't find myself interesting or anything like that. Just average :D

Okay I think I've said enough XD But let me just say this: if you plan to pick a fight with me, fuck off. This is my journal, so take your faggotry somewhere else.


photographs ; deviantart ; blogspot ; tsukkomicons (graphic) ; kenkajoutou (fanfic archive)

Comments

hi there!

just would like to say that i'll be adding you to my frined's list. i also like kanjani8. i enjoy their music!

thanks a lot! and i hope you are doing well in the university.
Sup. ♥
So we have the same birthday, same fave K8 member (ou gaddddd Hina you have the most busted teefs ever but when your mouth is closed you and Kimutaku are seperated only by ~age~) and some random number of mutual friends. If you have too many people on your flist that is cool, I can barely keep up too but Kon speaks wonders about you so. Yes. 8Dv
howhut mooooooooooar same birthday people \:D/ AND MORE HINA FANS??? :DDDDD? and Kon has spoken wonders about you as well 8D
*adds you to my ever-growing f-list 8Dv*
Hi ^^
I was wondering where you got the banner for your FO banner?
made it myself :D
sorry, I meant the picture.
Is it possible for you to link me to the original.

haha we're using the same pic as our header.
ahahah lol I'm stupid XD
sure here it is:
http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/284/soricon07042301rc8.jpg

hahaa yeah XD because Ohkura just defined ass-kissing and Maru defined "being-a-doormat". it is beautiful.
I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A SHINGO FAN.
There aren't enough of them around. D:
Long live Murakami and Eito♥
I'm adding you, btw, just because you're awesome like that.
(And you added me on MySpace a while ago? ROFL.)
Sorry if that's a problem or ewwww or something.
Feel free to add/not add back. XD;;
Oh, wait. Nevermind.
I just remembered, that was someone else. XD
STILL ADDING, THOUGH!
Bwahaha, Eito crack has fried my brain. >D
Hiya :3 How are you?

I'd really love if we can be friends ^_^ I love K8 too and your fics ^^ So I'm kind of fan of yours although I seldom comment gomen gomen u.u

So, see you around ^_^
ara desu

ki wo tsukete kudasai

hi! just wanted to congrat you on becoming a mod. ^^ I understand what you say. I'm very busy too. so *hugs* and we'll probably see each other there [k8 comm and also at the k8 com group]. Yay! :)) [p.s.:I like your LJ's design] and I added you but you don't have to add me back. ofcourse. well,yeah. :)) ki wo tsukete kudasai :)
I'm sorry I know you don't know me that well yet but I am friending you.
I am making a locked post in my lj regarding the recent events at the mod comm that are only viewable to people I put in my friends group. So only the people who are already members of the mod comm on my flist can see it and no one else.
I need to talk to the other members. And that's why I'm doing it. Anyway I know you are very busy and it's totally ok if you ignore this or the post. But I didnt want to leave you out since you are one of the few people in the mod comm I don't have friended yet. I really need to say somethings and I wanted to talk with people about this but I don't want to break promise so that's what I'm doing.
Anyway sorry if this is weird but I wanted to at least tell you this. I hope this is ok.
I adore you more than you can ever imagine. I've read you fic, Alma Mater in one go allowing me to go to school w/ 30min of sleep. At first I told myself just to read the first 5 chapters but I couldn't stop myself. Now, I'm rereading it again yet the effect still remains the same. I still smile, laugh, feel touched w/ the same scenes. And yes, you make Ohkura unbelievably hot as a bad guy. You srsly made me love him more than before which is already a lot, to start with

Also, I've heard great things about you and it'd be great if I can go deeper and get to know you more. I'm trying to run all over Kanjani8 because I'm trying to catch up w/ the time I spent fangirling over NewS and KT. Now, I srsly wish I started w/ Eito.

I also realized that you're a Hina fan. I haven't paid much attention to him but I really, really like him. I like how he's always positive and comforts the members when hosts try to make fun of them. He always goes "That's okay, you did good" and I find that sweet. I wish to like him more and hopefully you can help me with that. :D
thanks for the flattering comment.

I have to say that Alma Mater was never finished, and I don't think it would ever finish considering I am slowly slipping out the fanfiction and fandom groove. There are a lot of things happening within the internet JE fandom that I just can't deal with anymore.

I used to talk a lot about Shingo and Kanjani8 on my LJ but lately, not as much. Almost none at all because I've been caught up with life. I haven't been catching up with life so when I did, I realized it was taking a big part of me.

I don't mind adding you to my friends list if you still want to be friends outside the fact that I used to write fanfics and I used to be one of internet's bigger Shingo fans. I'm neither now, so my LJ entries will usually be random fangirling over a lot of things, real life and photographs.
I don't mind that at all.

The reason why I'm probably trying to run around the fandom because it's slipping away from me too. I'm trying to keep it up as possible. I'm lame that way. Regarding Alma Mater, it's okay if you don't get to finish it. It's better than forcing yourself to finish it and just mindlessly writing words like I usually do.

Actually, I'm more interested about real life right now coz most of the people in LJ are uni students rights? Well I'm in college myself but I'm just in a 2 year institution. I'd be transferring next fall to continue my junior and senior year, then staight to a Master's Degree. Real life rants somehow prepare me or give me an idea about what I'm going to face.

I'd still like to ge to know you, if you don't mind. And oh. Regarding the internet thing that's been happening lately, yes. It's crazy. Sometimes, I tend to think that it's the reason why my heart is slowly detaching myself from the fandom
I don't even keep up with it much anymore. I don't download nor buy stuff anymore. Simply because I just can't afford the time and the money anymore. I'm a communications student, I have too many shit to handle. I have my obligations to my school, family and my boyfriend. Fandom is just, well, fandom. It's not important and I won't die if I leave it.

I'm going into my 3rd semester as a communication student. I was in a different college before this but I changed my course. I was taking art before this. so even though I may not have been in college for as long as others have, I still have my experiences I guess.

of course I don't mind. i've added you (:
hi there! well, i wont expect u to add me back and my LJ has nothing in it so i dont know if me adding u wd serve u anyhow. lol.
but anyway, from what ive heard, ur REALLY interesting... too bad im too late! anyway, good luck for the future.. maybe we'll interact in sme other k8 fansite one day.. who knows? ^^
don't believe what people tell you hahaha. i'm really not interesting and why do you say you're "too late"? thanks for the wishes.
hey, is that bill kaulitz?

kinda acciedntly stumbled upon him and tokio hotel a few weeks ago... XD

yeah, a new fan of kanjani8 too! like them coz they're a bunch or erm fun loving (in other words, idiots... loveable, of course!) ppl... and their songs are simple and happy and always puts me in a good mood... and i've just recently bought their albums, and many of their singles... those that i can find at Yesasia... XD

and erm, i'm giving away their single It's My Soul to my friends as xmas/new year presents... kukukukukukukuku.....
yes that is bill kaulitz. i've only recently became a fan. though i can only stand listening anything post-kaulitz puberty. high pitched little boy voice just don't cut it with me, even if i am a johnny's entertainment fan. or was. but whatever.

i've been a fan of kanjani8 for 2 years and for the most of those years i was a serious fanatic. but i've toned down a little and slowly slipping out of the fandom.

sorry, i really don't wanna be rude or anything like that and i know you came here through blog-hopping or you've see me on communities but...can i ask you why are you telling me that you're giving away the it's my soul single to your friends? it's kinda ... not relevant to me is it?
i've never really looked into his older stuff, so i wouldn't know how high pitched he was back then.. i've only seen some performances of him with tokio hotel, but that's about it... my passion have not been provoked enough to actually go and buy something of their stuff (CDs, etc..) yet....

ah, kanjani8 is probably the only JE boyband i wanted to listen too... never really bother with the others much.... as a laruku fan, my friends and i have veer away from kat-tun (and most of them JE boybands) since kat-tun murder a laruku song a year or so ago... it's taboo to even speak about it with each other since they totally pulverised the song... to actually have my heart open for even one JE boyband is kinda an abnormality in my life....

of course it's not relevant to you... if you think it is such an irrelevant thing, than you didn't even need to bother commenting on that part of my comment... you could just ignore it and it's not like i'll hound you and kill you if you didn't say anything about it...

is it wrong to try and share my latest dilemma with someone who is outside the circle of my friends? and maybe get some better ideas/opinions from someone else and since this matter involves my friends, i can't actually go and ask them about it, can i? it wouldn't be a present if they knew beforehand what i'm gonna send to them... and dvds are muc to expensive to be send to 20+ friends at a go... singles are much cheaper...

so by asking someone outside the box maybe i could be getting a far better idea or something....

like i said earlier, if you feel it's such a bother to you, you could always ignore it and didn't comment anything on it in the first place....
no no, i didn't mean it as an offensive attack even though it came out that way. i didn't even know you were asking for an opinion about giving the CDs away as christmas presents because you didn't really state the question clearly in the previous comments. if you had said something along the lines of "i'm thinking of giving out the CDs as christmas presents to my friends. what do you think?" then i would've known what you wanted to know.

but in my opinion -- if you still want to hear them -- i suggest getting naniwa iroha bushi or osaka rainy blues instead. those are, how you say, the foundation for K8 fandom. to me, it's my soul was rather disappointing.
sorry it didn't come out clear enough... it was a silent plead for help and trying not to sound too pushy about it.... like, my life depends on your opinion or something....

unfortunately, naniwa iroha bushi is out of stock... i wanted to get one for myself earlier, but it's out of stock already... yeah, osaka rainy blues is my fave single too, but the 7-14 days wait was what put me off in the first place... hmmmmm, but if i send the cd after xmas and just tell them it's a xmas+new year gift, maybe that'll be okay... don't wanna send a xmas gift AFTER xmas...

gah, why do i have so many friends who always send me xmas gifts every year.. and why do they have to live so far away?!! the delivery cost alone is a murder on my wallet every year... since this year i'm a bit low on the xmas budget, i'm getting them something easy to sent... a bubble envelope for each is enough and didn't have to send them as parcels...
a gift is a gift. you shouldn't be obligated to send one. if you simply can't afford it, you can't. i receive christmas gifts or gifts for other occasions too but i don't always buy something for my friends simply because i can't afford anything much and because i'm horrible at picking gifts.

instead, i give back in different ways. for my close friends, like last christmas, i cooked dinner for them and they loved it. and for those who live far away, it's always nice to receive a card or a letter rather than your everyday emails or IMs. alternatively, if you insist on giving something, handmade is always good. recycle shit's always cheap and it means more since you put effort into them.

sending the same gift to 20 people is like sending the same ties to your guy colleagues or giving welcoming gifts to your new neighbors. it's not really a gift. more like a polite gesture. that's how i see it.
like i said, if they hadn't live so far away it would of been easier... and because they live in other countries made it harder to invite them over for dinner... i did managed to invite one over from japan because she had some business in my country at the time, but that's a very rare occasion and probably won't repeat itself anytime soon...

and since my handmade stuff skill is limited, i've probably used it all up by sending those cross stich and embroidery stuff to them with the regular letters, so it will be boring to send them those as xmas presents... and despite what you think, we hardly ever email each other or talk on aim/ym/etc... we usually just write letters/postcards or sms or call each other... i don't send xmas presents to ppl who are only my email/aim pals... those ppl get only cards...

and i also ran out of things to send them.. i've sent them all too many jewelleries, handbags, article of clothings, teddy bears, keychains and even seashells i picked during my holidays at the beach....

so this year if probably the most unimaginative and most uniformed gift i'll ever send them because [1] i'm low on money since i've just recently bought a new car and [2] i am running out of time to try to figure out what to sent them.... usually i sent something different for each of them...

even though i'm low on cash, doesn't mean i can't afford to sent them anything at all, it only mean i can't get them something spectacular or as extravagant as the previous years... even though it's kinda rushed and unimaginative, i still have to sent something to them and i don't want to suddenly break the tradition this year...
before anything, idk whether you realized it or not but your country is my country too. hell i'm in the same university you were in, different campus though.

anyway, about your gift dilemma, i don't know what else to say really. i don't have a set tradition for anything in my life because i really actually don't believe in keeping with traditions -- it feels like an obligation -- unless it's concerning family. i'm the live in something new everyday person. plus i'm always low on cash because tbh, i'm not that well-funded. especially now, family's going through a little tough time financial wise.

i have friends from all over the world and rly, they do understand if i couldn't send them gifts, so they don't expect any. if by some miracle one day that i might be able to send them gifts, it'll be a huge surprise and extra special. that's why i dont make it a tradition to send them gifts every year. it's really the thought that matters -- friends who live far away would understand that it's not easy. but then again, it's your call. this is just who i am.

i have a best friend for 11 years who moved to america and while i've been meaning to send her gifts, i couldn't get around to do it because i'm so busy with school and other things and i'm always without cash. i ask parents for money but sometimes a bit segan wanna ask for more because they're having problems financially.
you living in the same country as i am still doesn't change the fact that my friends don't live in the same country as i am... and i'm not in a financial slums enough to use it as an excuse to not get anything for my friends for xmas this year..... yeah, thoughts really matter... but after a while, it start to sound like an excuse, at least to me...

and for some, having tradition let them to at least have something to look forward to in life... and makes you feel like you have something important to do at least once or twice a year... something different than the norms in their life...

and i make my own money.. i don't ask for my parents money, not since i was in high school... i work to get extra money (other than lunch money) to buy stuff... sure, sometimes i need loads of cash at one time, i do ask for my parents for money, but they are always as loans and i have to pay in full afterwards... i was never fully dependent on my parents so i don't like asking them for money.... it is such a huge blow for my pride if i had to ask them for money to buy something, felt like begging even... especially as a young adult nowadays and during my uni years...

even when i was in school i made my own money... i tutor my friends for a small amount of money.... or do errands for their parents.... and cut the grass for my neighbours for money... bake some cakes and sell them...

and while i was in the uni, i still tutor ppl for a fee and then even helped some lecturers with their research papers (finding/compiling informations for them) and i get paid for that... sometimes yeah, i do other ppls' assignments for money too...

even now, when i first started to work, i didn't buy a car... i still take the bus and walk if i need to go somewhere.. car was the least important thing in my expenditure list.... and only recently i bought a car...

so, even if my parents have a financial problem, it never affected me because even without their help i can support myself... i don't make it a habit to ask money from them, unless they wanted to give it to me...

what i'm trying to say is, if you want money, go work for it... don't depend on your parents and only worry about why you are always short on cash... could it be because you spend more money than you have? or you need to make more money? and then take a productive action to rectify the problem yourself without being dependent on your family.. you have to learn to depend only on yourself some time soon... you are not a grade schooler anymore...

and i ALWAYS wonder, why do ppl always say since they are schooling, they don't have time to do anything else... not even to make themselves happy by having fun... it's such a bullsh*t to me because i was there too... i've been through schooling life... and yet, i have so many good memories with my friends, and i managed to juggle my studies (and still get good grades) and my part time jobs and actually have a life and loads of friends..... why always blame it on studying? to me, if you say you HAVE to spend a lot of time to JUST study and if you don't dedicate enough time you won't get good grades, then it means you are not studying the correct way... something is off.. you have to change the way you are studying because it's not working for you....

sometimes ppl just need to see things from a different perspective... and learn to let go a bit and not to take yourself or life too seriously... you won't make any positive progress about yourself by being negative and a pessimist... don't think you can't do or achieve something before trying.. same with my situation now... even if i don't have enough cash to buy expensive gifts this year, i'm not going to just sit back and use that as an excuse... i would at least try to get something no matter how small a gift it is, or how boring it is for them... at least i will be satisfied that i'm DOING something rather than making up excuses and not do anything at all....
oh. wow. i never thought it'd amount to this.

first - i was just stating the fact that we live in the same country. that's it. i never implied anything else.

second - i can see that our values and thoughts and perspectives are way different from each other. i told you what i think. i never expect you to follow what i say. you asked for an opinion and i gave it but you've already set your mind to what you said from the beginning, then there's no use on trying to blow me and my principles off.

fine, i admit that i don't have part time jobs and i won't use my age or school as an excuse either. for one, i am out of your circle of friends so you don't know me at all. not even my name. you don't know what the hell goes within my family. yes, i ask money from my parents but that's because, no matter how much i pleaded them, they won't let me work because they think it will distract me from my studies.

i am not bright, but i am practical. i may not have a part time job but i still get by even if i don't have any money in my wallet. i help friends with their assignments and i do tutor them but unlike most people, i don't ask for money, but instead i ask for food payment.

see? i don't spend much like you assume i do. i just don't make it a habit to keep a lot of money in my wallet.

you make assumptions prove that you know nothing about me. because obviously you do not.

if you wanna give gifts, go ahead. i am not stopping you. never once in any of my replies did i imply on stopping you from getting any of your friends gifts. i just told you how i feel about gifts in general and i am not trying to impose my values on you.

please lah, don't go lashing on people on their journals just because they don't agree with your principles and values. it's not exactly fun to read and i'm not in a particularly good mood.

but of course, i don't think you give two fucks anyway.
first - i was just stating the fact that we live in the same country. that's it. i never implied anything else.
same as how you reacted to my very first comment, so don't take it to heart to much when it is thrown right back at ya...

i don't need to know another person's name, or whoever their family is to understand their way of thinking.. it's better that way, so i won't have any prior impression of them... i like to know someone as they are on how they talk or interact with me... i don't like to know about other ppls' reputation before i meet them because that will only cloud my impression and i won't be honest to them in person...

of course i make money out of my friends, but only the rich ones... i don't mind helping my fellow poor friends like myself for free... if the rich wants to use me, hey, why not get something in return... i was merely sharing an idea on how you can make money without having to have a real job and at the same time also study.. you ca kill two birds with one stone... excuse me if you think that idea was bad... i only try to help...

and FYI, my parents never knew about my part time jobs when i was in the uni... since they never asked, i never told them... that's my principal... i only told them after i graduated... and it does not affect them directly and it actually helped them because i don't need to ask them money for food and books anymore... and the only thing i can think of as to why your parents doesn't let you work for fear of you not being able to study well, is that they don't trust you enough... do you know why they don't trust you? i think when you've reached a uni student status, you are basically an adult, a young one, though... your parents should had already established enough trust in you to trust you to make your own decision... and if they still doesn't trust you, well then, maybe you should talk with your parents about it...

like i said, i was merely sharing the story of my life, and how i look at life in general so you might get ideas from it... but if you still insist to react in a negative way, then well, i won't give a sh*t anymore... you said we have different views in life, i agree... and i thought you needed to find other and better view of life so you can improve it...

but really, if you think everytime someone try to help you as a provocation, then suit yourself... no one can help you unless you want to help yourself..
Yo, Lina! Open up! Krystle here 8DDDb
id like to friend please.
i really need access to mamoritai kanji lyrics
greatly appreciated<3
Here you go

osakaromanesque says she's sorry for locking it because she had a massive locking session some time ago.
Well I added you because of something I saw credited to you. But after reading your post I had to just take a moment and say DAMN. That was one of the realest statements i've seen put down ANYWHERE, actually. I'd still like to be your friend. I don't know if this is your personal LJ or what's up, but drop me a line if you ever see this.
wow. i think this has to be comment that certainly made my day i guess. i never thought any of my words could make someone stop and think.

sure, i'll add you back. i don't know whether you'd be interested in my life and my photography or whatever, but i guess i hope you enjoy your stay :D
hi. i got here just like how sanctified_x did and was greeted by this honest post of yours. although to some pple, you falling out of the fandom seemed disappointing, i am actually happy about it coz this means that its highly possible for that to happen and i've been trying my best to leave this world so that i can focus on doing art but the JE web is tough to get out of.

with that, id like to be friends if that's ok with you. im not an interesting person myself but i think that you being aware of the real life is interesting already. (and anyone who was able to see the wonders of k8 shld be special. heh) plus, ive always wondered what it'll be like if i had majored in communication instead.

so ive just add you and stop blabbering and being cheesy right here. peace out :)
hahahah this is like the first time people are actually genuinely interested in someone's real life and all that. sure i'll add you back. the only reason i have all that written down is because a lot of people add me because of my fic contribution in the JE community and all that.

now i'll stop blabbering and add you already :DDD
Lina bb! This is Michelle (mich3ll3_1126)--I switched journals a few weeks ago (ehhh technically around two-ish months ago idk anyways). If you still want to be friends, add me here? :D
woolpepper here, moved to a new lj.

I don't care if it's full of RL posts. =D I care for you, not the fangirly posts. gad i'm so corny

Friend me back?
friended =D
Thanks Lina~ =D
well xD i must say i saw your name in a community, but you like panic *O*
and that's my favorite song xD with behind the sea *-* and she had the world xD
and well... actually xD i like japon dramas, but i love more taiwan dramas n.n
so o-o i add you n.n
dear lina. fullstop.
it's farah/amanogawa.
please add me back cause i want to read ur lj. fullstop.
hehe.
haha i'm gonna be honest and say i found your journal through some backdated entries in communities that led me to your fic journal! and i really enjoyed reading your fics! like dance dance dance... and everlasting scene.

but yup i'm totally aware that you don't like random people adding you simply becos of the same fandoms and stuff. but i would really like to get to know you too cos you seem really interesting as a person ^^

let me know if you're fine with being friends! :)
well. i'm fine with making new friends.
except that i'm no longer following the k8 fandom. in fact, i'm hardly in any fandom but i have been listening to a lot more jrock lately.

my lj is used to update my more personal stuff - like family and things i can't publicly post on my blogspot.
oh i'm fine with that too. i think it would be nice to get to know new friends in spite of fandoms and stuff. but if you're not comfortable with me reading your personal entries just let me know. my journal is gonna be mostly personal as well.. i'll add you and we can take a shot at being new friends? :)
i rarely post on my lj lately. everything's mostly on my blogspot. i update my lj like, once every 3 weeks to a month or so. so dont be surprised if you dont really see much updates from me here. you can read them on my blogspot.